Hey, I'm just coming off celebrating my 7th anniversary as Blue Saffire. May 31, 2015 was the day I published Legally Bound 1, my first bestseller. I feel so blessed and can't wait for you all to see what I have coming next.
Well, we're in June already. Wow, where did the time go? I feel like so much is going on. So many changes in the midst of writing and getting out these books.
I'm still working on A Million to Stay AND The Ones Left Behind. I'll be sending A Million to Stay out to the proofreader soon. Life has gotten in the way a bit.
Now for an update on the A**hole Club Series.
The books have been updated to remove Rhet as KT wanted to take her character with her. If you have brought or read the series, this will not affect you at all.
If you own the books all you have to do is update it from your Kindle account and the updates will change over. I'd say do it in about a week as Amazon suggests it will take that long to update for prior owners before changes. Paperbacks have been updated as well. Sorry for any inconvenience.
I'm still looking to release the last two books sometime in July they are already over-talking the books I'm working on. Ugh.
I am up to clue #22 in the Trivia Hunt. 30 clues to go. I'm so excited for the grand prize winner. So far I have revealed the following as part of the Grand Prize:
1. $10.00 Amazon Gift card. (I'm sure I'll add more of those)
2. Work Husband graphic lens clothes
3. Bookmarks Pit, Kelex, Work Husband graphics
4. Signed Books: Wicked Prince Charmings, Remember Me, Broken Soldier, Where the Pieces Fall, Unexpected Lovers, My Best Friends Wish, A Black Christmas, Pit
5. Blue Saffire Tote bag
And still, so much more to come. Stay tuned. You can find the clues on Facebook and Instagram.
I post a new clue every Tuesday on Facebook and Instagram. Only 34 clues to go.
If you haven't gotten your journal to hold your clues in for the end of the year. Here is the link.
As always, I'll share with you the updates that have been going up on my social media accounts.
1. Wrapping up “A Million to Stay”. Getting ready to send to Proof soon.
2. Still have time to slide “The Ones Left Behind” in under the six weeks mark. Trying to balance what I need to handle in my personal life with these books. Things pop up.
3. The A Million to Blow Series is moving to Amazon. Books 1 is already there and 2 is getting ready to go to proof, new scenes and over 40k of new content. I'm so excited. I forget how much I loved this world. You need these stories and a few others for the Lost Souls world so this is the reason for the move. Look out for the next releases soon.
4. I'm healed and I'm in the lab full time. Been working my butt off. I have so much coming your way. Including audio books. The Work Husband will be the first series I have produced.
5. I’m thinking on the next magazine issue. I have the next short story in mind. I think we’ll go PNR this time.
6. May 31, 2022 is my 7-year Blue Saffire anniversary. I can’t do something as big as I wanted because I need my focus, but I’m doing a giveaway in the group. A coach bag and wallet with a gift card. If you’re not in the group you can find your way there. I do weekly gift cards and snippets are posted in there. Not the small teasers. Longer versions. Maybe we can do a live in a few weeks. I’ve been so deep in these books. You guys have no idea how much I’m working. So many books talking. So many things going on. To join group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/SisterhoodofPerceptiveIllusions
7. I'll finish the A**hole club as soon as I finish the two books I'm working on. You will still get them sometime in July.
No release dates. I’m Working.
Would you like to know about my next release? I'm pushing for two this month. A Million to Stay and The Ones Left Behind. Wish me luck. LOL
As soon as I finish The Ones Left Behind the series will be scheduled for audio production. I need the final word count.
“You have to understand. I’m doing what’s best for you,” I sigh in frustration.
“You said that last time. I’m so stupid. Why do I keep letting you do this to me?” Chloe sobs.
Her words and tears rip right through my soul. I’ve never wanted to hurt her. She’s the only woman I’ve ever loved. Well, she’s a woman now. The first time our worlds collided I had no business being with her. She was so young and naïve.
“Come on, Cee,” I say releasing a breath. “That’s not fair.”
I’ve never been able to truly walk away from her. She should know this. This is why we’re here.
The shit I’ve done to be with her. Internally I give a laugh bitter. She doesn’t even know my real name. I’ve never told it to her for fear of how it could ruin me.
I know I’m a bastard. I’ve only thought of myself when pursuing Chloe. My needs have always been first. My need to know her name, my need to hear her voice, my need to see her—it’s always been about my needs, not hers. My needs are what blinded me in the first place.
I should’ve acknowledged from the beginning that it wouldn’t work. My father has his eyes on the governor’s seat. He’s been grooming me for it since I was a little boy. Well before I could walk or talk my father had plans for my life. None of those plans have ever included a girl eight years younger than me.
The media would have a field day if it ever got out that I once dated a seventeen-year-old, while I’d been twenty-five. I knew Chloe was younger when I met her. I just didn’t know she was that young. In my defense, she lied to me for the first six months.
By the time I learned the truth, it was too late. I was already in love with her. Thank God, we hadn’t had sex. I had loved the thrill of the chase. At least, I thought it was a chase. Chloe was so gorgeous and intelligent. I thought her playing hard to get in the bedroom was a total turn on.
“It’s the truth,” she tosses back at me.
“The truth…the truth. Do you remember how I find out?” I ask, letting my words hang in the air, my temper flaring just a little.
I found out about her age because I wanted to surprise her for her birthday. However, I was the one who was truly surprised. As I sat outside of the high school, I learn to be the one Chloe attended—not the college campus I’d gone to earlier in the day—I watched her be a teenager.
I felt like an idiot. It was so clear to see it. Watching her with her friends, I had no doubts everything I’d learned an hour before was true. My little Cee was turning eighteen, not twenty-two.
“I never meant for that to happen,” she whispers after a few moments of silence.
But it had and I felt betrayed and lost. I was so angry with her and myself. More so myself, because even as I sat there and watched, I knew. I knew she was the only one for me. She’d carved a spot in my heart and made herself a home.
Still, I couldn’t let it continue. I had a career to think about. My initial worries and concerns about us as a couple were nothing compared to the truth that faced me. I broke things off right away.
Now here we are again. Chloe is a brilliant young woman at twenty-five. She has so much going for her future. I won’t ask her to throw it all away and I’ve yet to tell my father that I don’t want to follow the path he has placed before me.
Seeing Chloe is a problem for so many reasons. She’s a distraction. There are things I must do, and I must do them now. She’s a distraction because I’m always so concerned about my father finding out about her.
He’ll ruin her life to keep her away from me. I could never allow that to happen. Yet, I’m not in the position to prevent it and that just won’t do.
“Baby,” I try, but she turns her back on me. “I’m doing this for your own good. Before was different—”
“Different how?” she turns back around and yells at me. “You broke my heart then and you’re doing it all over again.”
“You lied to me,” I bellow, letting my control slip.
I close my eyes as my jaw tics. I’ve been furious with her for years. The last time was not on me. She was too young, there was nothing I could do.
“I knew it, I knew when I walked into that restaurant I should’ve run back out.” She shakes her head. “You came for me, Brodi. Why? Why come for me if you knew you couldn’t stay?”
“I had only planned to talk to you. To see how your life was,” I choke out.
“Yeah right, you found me so you could fuck me. It was the one thing you never got to do. You needed to settle the score,” she hisses at me. “Hope it was worth it.”
I close the small distance between us so fast she jumps back startled. I bend until we’re nose to nose. My chest is heaving with my own anger.
“I’ve never fucked you,” I retort, placing my hands on her slim, yet curvy hips. “Every time I touch you, I make love to you.”
I place my forehead to hers, trying to calm myself. I lick my lips, lifting my head once more. Her hazel eyes lock with mine and I hate what I see there. I move my hands to cup her pretty face, wanting nothing more than to get lost in kissing every single one of her freckles.
They’re so faint and uniquely hers. Like cinnamon dust was blown over her eyelids and just above her upper lip. I groan when my eyes fall to her full mouth. I thought she was a knockout when I first met her at seventeen. Now, Chloe is drop dead gorgeous.
“I promise, this time, I’ll stay away.” The words burn my tongue as they come out. “I leave the country tonight. I won’t drag you into my mess. I could lose everything. I have nothing to offer you. My brothers and I, we are making a bold statement with our actions.” I pause and sigh. “I can’t protect you from my world like this.”
I hear the pain in my own voice. It’s my job as her man to protect her. I can’t do that if I take this course. I just don’t know if I can guarantee it. Chloe has done well for herself.
The way her eyes light up when she talks about work, makes me so proud of her. I didn’t see that until this weekend. I’d brought her here so I could spend time with her. I had every intention of asking her to start over with me but…I can’t.
Chloe has Ally to take care of. Her best friend Sidney means the world to her. She has a life outside of me. For once, I’m not being a selfish man. I’ve thought this through.
I don’t want to give Chloe up, but I can’t keep hurting her and she can’t just drop her life for me. I have too many unknown variables in my life. At thirty-three, I’m starting over.
I thought Clayton to be crazy when he suggested defying my father on such a level. Yet, I know if anyone could pull this off it would be Clayton. My little brother is one determined little SOB. Neither of us want to live under our father’s thumb.
Cane, my youngest brother, is the good son. The one who listens and toes the line. Well, when it comes to what meets the eye.
Clayton and I know him better. We know the truth when it comes to Cane. He seeks the adrenaline rush that gives a sense of control. The Hennessey men are known for their control and their need for it.
It’s why I have to do this. I have to let Chloe go. I want to plead with her not to give up on me, not to let me go. I want to promise that I’ll be back for her, but I don’t know that I can make that promise.
My father could make our lives hell, prevent us from making a way for ourselves. It’s the reason I choose to leave the country. Clayton will do what needs to be done here. I’ll build our fortune overseas. It’s all a part of the plan. Chloe was never a part of the plan. I wasn’t supposed to go after her. I was supposed to leave her be.
“I don’t need protection from your world. I only need it from you,” she whispers, pulling from my hold on her face.
I let my hands fall and watch helplessly, as she grabs her bags. When the week started, I hadn’t planned for her to leave with those bags without me. I had all intention to board a plane with her by my side.
This is the right thing to do.
I keep telling myself that as the door slams shut behind her. I’m losing her again. I nearly fucked up my entire life the first time.
My father was furious with me. He couldn’t understand what triggered the mess I had become. He sent me off to stay with my ornery uncle.
Uncle Devin grunted at me for weeks about getting my life in order. Then, one night he found me drowning in my own sorrows. I spilled my guts without thinking.
“She’s the love of my life, how could she be so young?” I slurred.
“You do know your grandmother is ten years your grandfather’s junior?” my uncle asked.
“Shit like that made sense back then. It will be just one more thing against us in my world,” I grumbled.
“This pity party is beneath you. Suck it up, Bro-di,” he drew out my nickname.
Clayton started calling me the name. For the life of me, I still don’t know how he got Brodi from Gregor. Mom says it’s because he was trying to say brother. The shit stuck and the entire family calls me Brodi. All except for my father.
“I didn’t ask you to join,” I said dryly.
“She is underage for now. You’re a Hennessy, this will not stop you forever.” Uncle Devin sighed.
“Her age is just one of our problems.” I rubbed my forehead.
“Now you’re making excuses. You sound like a pussy. Sink or swim, Gregor. Be your own man. One day you will learn, you have to be in control of your own destiny.” He patted my shoulder.
I scoffed at his words. I’ve never controlled a thing about my life. I think that’s what drew me to Chloe. She went with what I said, what I wanted. Had I known it was because of her age, I would have thought differently.
“I’m to be governor,” I snorted. “My destiny is written.”
“I don’t believe that bullshit any more than you do, son. Your father has dreams, but someday you will find your own and pursue them. You will see.” He nodded and left me to my thoughts.
His words stuck with me from that night. I’m letting Chloe go again because I need to pursue my own dreams. She has her own life to live and family that needs her.
“I’m so sorry, baby,” I whisper to the air because the woman I love is long gone.
I feel so stupid. This is all my fault. I was so happy to have the assistant of a private client contact me for a meeting. Sidney and I have been climbing the ladder in the financial district. My girl is doing her thing, but I’m hot on her heels. A big client was just what I needed to get things going for me. I needed the chance to show what I can do.
Taking a lunch wasn’t unusual. What should have tipped me off just a little was the fact that it was my favorite restaurant, from when I dated him. Secondly, I should have noted the private room.
Brodi had spoiled me back then. I always felt bad for lying to him. I was just in such disbelief that someone his age was interested in me. Someone his age who looked so freaking gorgeous. With his strawberry blond waves, gray eyes, those full lips, and his height. Brodi has always towered over me, even now at five-eleven, he’s half a foot taller than me.
Back then he made me feel like a god had fallen from the heavens and chosen me. I was so eager to please him and had told him I was twenty-one before I could stop myself. I never dreamed he’d believe me or that we would date for so long.
I knew back then that Brodi was wealthy and out of my league. We met in a coffee shop of all places. I’d been on a coffee run for the managers at the summer internship I had landed. All Junior year, Sidney and I had sold candy bars in the neighborhood to earn money to go to Century 21 for our summer internship attire.
We’d been proud of the looks we pulled together on a budget. Gaining Brodi’s attention had only been the icing on the cake. I still own the red pumps, black slacks, and cream blouse I wore that day.
“You have a beautiful smile,” he whispered in my ear, as I looked down at a text Sidney sent me from the cheap phones we pooled together to get on a shared plan.
When I looked up, I felt my breath whoosh from my lungs. He was gorgeous. Something about those eyes. They were an arresting gray, sucking me right in.
“Thank you.” I blushed and wanted to kick myself.
“I was just leaving.” He held up his cup for me to see. “But I couldn’t leave without knowing your name and asking for your number.”
My heart hammered in my chest. I wanted to squeal. My mind screamed for me to tell him I was in high school, but my heart told me to do whatever was necessary to hold his attention. He looked older, not in a time roughen way, but I knew he wasn’t in high school.
“My name is Chloe and I’ll take your number instead,” I purred like I was all grown up.
When he gave me a crooked smile from those full lips, my knees threatened to give. He sauntered over to the counter, murmuring something to the pretty barista. She smiled back at him, handing over a pen. He retrieved a napkin, jotting something down on it.
When he stood before me once more, his long fingers held the napkin out to me. “I’ll be waiting for your call at eight.” He winked. “Don’t be late.”
I called at eight on the dot. I couldn’t believe the incredible conversations I’d been able to hold with him. I knew I fell in love with him. I was so in awe he had fallen in love with me as well.
When he learned the truth, I could see the hurt and anger in his eyes. It tore right through me. My heart was broken when he said we could no longer be together.
I never thought I’d see him again. Never. Walking into that private room—those gray eyes took me in—my heart was torn from my chest all over again.
However, he had healed it. For another six months, I had Brodi in my life to heal that old pain. We fell right back into our relationship, like nothing ever happened.
Brodi wined and dined me. He showered me with expensive gifts, but what was most precious to me was his words of love. He never went an encounter without telling me how much he loved me or how much he missed me during our time apart.
“I love you, Cee. You have no idea how much I love you,” he’d whisper.
I, on the other hand, held back this time. So afraid to get hurt and lost in him. I wouldn’t dare let myself open up. I dripped pieces of me into our relationship.
The more comfortable I became the more I gave. I’ve always known Brodi had his own secrets. He never talked about his life, despite asking me about mine.
No, that’s a lie. Brodi shares about the pressure his dad placed on him. It seemed to be the one thing in his life that stressed him.
He had shared with me a time or two how the pressure made him feel. Then, there’s the few times he’s mentioned one of his brothers. Never by name and he always changed the subject when he caught himself.
Yup, Brodi has had as many secrets as I had. Yet, I decided to lay my bones bare on that trip. I gave him everything I am.
“After my mom passed, I had to do everything. It’s been so rough taking care of Ally,” I told him.
“I became a mother to Ally overnight. At least, that how I feel now,” I had said.
I shared with him about Sidney being my best friend. My best friend who helped me claw my way out of despair. Sidney helped me get a new apartment in a better neighborhood for Ally.
“I would’ve never been able to afford it if she hadn’t moved in with us,” I confided in him.
We worked together to keep my teenage sister in line, as she moved through junior high into high school. We’re still working together to keep her on track to graduate and get into the conservatory she’s been dreaming about.
“I’m in awe of you. You’ve always been so mature for your age,” Brodi had said, while looking into my eyes.
My heart swelled. I believed his words. For a week, I talked and talked, sharing my life with him. Never once did I think that at the end of the week, when it was time to go home, he would devastate my world all over again.
I’ve barely been holding my shit together in the last month since I walked out of that hotel suite. Now this.
I could never ask Sid to see me through this. I have Ally to worry about. My career is still so new. I’m so fucked and I didn’t know what else to do.
“I hate you, Brodi. You made me a killer,” I sob, as I wrap my middle with my arms and curl into a ball. “I never want to see you again.”
Now for our Winner for the May contest-themed Blueversary. The $10.00 Amazon gift card and books (Unexpected Lovers and My Best Friends Wish.)
I'll be shipping your book to the address you provided. Congratulations.
Now for your opportunity to enter your name for a chance at the monthly giveaway. This month's theme and giveaway is called Blue Heat and there's a $10.00 gift card.